This semester has been probably the most academically challenging one I've had since entering college nearly four years ago. For me, stress levels are directly proportionate to the amount of numbing daydreams that take me minutes to awake from. Hence, accept my apologies if you've been affected, at times, from my dreamlike neglect as I attempt to read all the books, finish all the papers, and whatever else my major creates to throw at me.
When my whole mental capacity is not overwhelmed with deadlines, I find that it is often checking its luggage, asking the stewardess if there are any first class seats available, and trying to sneak some dairy products through customs. It is flying back to Xia Da, to Xiamen, to Fujian, to China, and its good to permit the flood of memories and feelings of last year to permeate my being for those few surreal minutes.
My semester is lived in reference of the events of a year ago: "This time last year we took an impromptu trip to Chongwu... This time last year we rented bikes and got lost and persuaded taxi drivers to take us and our bikes back to the rental before it closed... This time last year I couldn't find a webcam that worked in the internet cafe, for all were taken by the buddhist monks of Nanputuo," and so on, and on, and on.
As Thanksgiving is quickly approaching, my thoughts are called back to our hodgepodge, makeshift celebration. Although with family and relatives this year in a more traditional setting, 12 months ago this November 27th will be the standard to which all Turkey Days will be measured against.
China,
You still have part of me. Please don't let go. I need you to hold on.
The Beauty of Espresso
15 years ago
2 comments:
Park...I know exactly what you mean. This Thanksgiving just wasn't the same--even though Leo was here! This is a great post--you capture how it feels to be divided between where you are and where your not. I pray that China will hold onto both of us...because Lord knows I need it to. Miss you bro!
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