To whomever it may concern,
I arrived home in Arkansas on December 22nd in the late evening. The sight of my family and girlfriend waiting for me at the airport gave me a feeling that I will not soon forget. As I stepped outside, my baggage draped over me, donning my custom fitted suit, the bitter and cold mid-American wind hit my face, freezing the sweat that had almost constantly been perspiring from me for the last three and a half months. And i stood there, and it was good to be home. With people I love. With menus I can fully read. With things I recognize and understand.... and I was deeply saddened. My adventure was finished. My journey had ended. And i wanted to jump back on that plane and flee to Xiamen, to go back to where life was exciting and unpredictable. Where bikes and mopeds ruled the roads instead of F-150s and suburbans. To go back to where I changed into the man that I am further becoming. To a place where God was real and evident. To where friends would hug and welcome me "home."
And I'm still struggling with this. It is hard to be here. It is strange to have to pay attention to other people's conversations that are sitting across the room. My bowels are still confused. I want to eat jaozi and I can't. No place is close enough to walk to. And part of me really hates it here.
And God is still faithful, and He is still compassionate. And He will lead me along the path of reacclimation in this place. And I trust that these frustrations that are quite extreme will gradually subside into normalcy again over time. But other things will continue to live on with me for the remainder of my days. The friends I now have will always be. The staunch smells and serenely beautiful scenes, the earthy conversations and realizations of truth, the excitements of life and its frustrations: these have eternally impacted who I am and will proceed in doing so for the rest of my life. And for this, I am so grateful. China Fall 2008, thanks.
-丁哥
